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The Collaborative Mindset
FAQs, stories, thoughts and articles on divorce from the collaborative perspective.
Proposed Child Custody Law Exposes Flaws of Divorce Court
September 27th, 2017
Many of you may have heard about a proposed bill in Michigan to effectively require judges to award both parents shared decision-making power over their children and give both parents nearly equal time with the children. Those who oppose this bill of…
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Categories: Other Musings
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Improving Divorce By Involving Our Local Community
August 17th, 2017
Years ago courts in our country were far different than they are today. The predominant characteristic of nineteenth-century courts across the United States was localism. By “localism” I mean that courts worked on the basis of general…
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Categories: Other Musings
The Age of Divorce
August 11th, 2017
It seems like nowadays all I hear about is how the country is heading in the wrong direction. Wendell Berry, a writer, philosopher, farmer and father of the locally grown food movement, has been saying this far before it became fashionable. Since t…
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Categories: Other Musings
A Mindful Divorce
July 31st, 2017
The concept of “mindfulness” – the practice of focusing your attention on the present moment and to be able to quiet your mind- is everywhere nowadays. Research in contemplative neuroscience suggests that practicing mindfulness has a p…
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Categories: Other Musings
Co-Parenting Begins With Your Divorce.
July 12th, 2017
Co-parenting occurs when two divorced parents are able to work cooperatively and collaboratively as parents after a divorce. It is the most important gift that divorcing parents can provide their children. Nonetheless, co-parenting is often the exc…
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Categories: Other Musings
Divorce: The Forgotten Injury
June 2nd, 2017
Divorce has been shown to have a devastating effect on the health of people, especially children. Why is this? And what can we do to improve the health and well-being of people going through divorce?
Divorce has been shown to have a de…
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Categories: Other Musings
Divorce and Decision Making
May 4th, 2017
I don’t claim that mediation and collaborative practice is for everyone, but I do maintain that these divorce methods are a possibility for nearly all divorcing couples where substance abuse and domestic violence are not issues. Yet, I also reali…
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Categories: Other Musings
Changing Old Ways for the Better - Family Court
January 30th, 2017
I recently read a book by Atul Gawande titled “Being Mortal.” It describes the history behind the American medical system’s care for the elderly. In it I found many parallels between this history and the history of our family court system.
The…
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Categories: Collaboration vs. Litigation
Getting Your Spouse to Agree to an Out-of-Court Divorce Method
January 24th, 2017
In my experience, people would choose to avoid going to divorce court if they have a desirable alternative. But I have met with many a person who wanted desperately to work cooperatively with their spouse to resolve their divorce out of court, but ar…
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Categories: Divorce Without Courts
Out-of-Court Divorce is for Real People
January 18th, 2017
Many people believe that out-of-court divorce — e.g. through mediation or collaborative divorce — is only for people who get along and don’t fight. I have heard family law attorneys that are unfamiliar with out-of-court divorce describe it as f…
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Categories: Divorce Without Courts