The Collaborative Mindset

FAQs, stories, thoughts and articles on divorce from the collaborative perspective.

Proposed Child Custody Law Exposes Flaws of Divorce Court

Many of you may have heard about a proposed bill in Michigan to effectively require judges to award both parents shared decision-making power over their children and give both parents nearly equal time with the children. Those who oppose this bill of… Read More
Read More
Categories: Other Musings

Improving Divorce By Involving Our Local Community

Years ago courts in our country were far different than they are today.  The predominant characteristic of nineteenth-century courts across the United States was localism.  By “localism” I mean that courts worked on the basis of general… Read More
Read More
Categories: Other Musings

The Age of Divorce

It seems like nowadays all I hear about is how the country is heading in the wrong direction. Wendell Berry, a writer, philosopher, farmer and father of the locally grown food movement, has been saying this far before it became fashionable.  Since t… Read More
Read More
Categories: Other Musings

A Mindful Divorce

The concept of “mindfulness” –   the practice of focusing your attention on the present moment and to be able to quiet your mind- is everywhere nowadays. Research in contemplative neuroscience suggests that practicing mindfulness has a p… Read More
Read More
Categories: Other Musings

Co-Parenting Begins With Your Divorce.

Co-parenting occurs when two divorced parents are able to work cooperatively and collaboratively as parents after a divorce. It is the most important gift that divorcing parents can provide their children.  Nonetheless, co-parenting is often the exc… Read More
Read More
Categories: Other Musings

Divorce: The Forgotten Injury

Divorce has been shown to have a devastating effect on the health of people, especially children.  Why is this? And what can we do to improve the health and well-being of people going through divorce?        Divorce has been shown to have a de… Read More
Read More
Categories: Other Musings

Divorce and Decision Making

I don’t claim that mediation and collaborative practice is for everyone, but I do maintain that these divorce methods are a possibility for nearly all divorcing couples where substance abuse and domestic violence are not issues.  Yet, I also reali… Read More
Read More
Categories: Other Musings

Changing Old Ways for the Better - Family Court

I recently read a book by Atul Gawande titled “Being Mortal.” It describes the history behind the American medical system’s care for the elderly. In it I found many parallels between this history and the history of our family court system. The… Read More
Read More

​Getting Your Spouse to Agree to an Out-of-Court Divorce Method

In my experience, people would choose to avoid going to divorce court if they have a desirable alternative. But I have met with many a person who wanted desperately to work cooperatively with their spouse to resolve their divorce out of court, but ar… Read More
Read More

Out-of-Court Divorce is for Real People

Many people believe that out-of-court divorce — e.g. through mediation or collaborative divorce — is only for people who get along and don’t fight. I have heard family law attorneys that are unfamiliar with out-of-court divorce describe it as f… Read More
Read More